Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Ramping up

My mood was a bit low last week.  This week, I've been anxious and excitable*.  There's a shithead at work who likes to "stir the pot" and yesterday I had enough.  He commented that my desk was the messiest and blah blah blah.  I told him that if my boss had a problem with my desk, she could tell me herself.  It's the smallest thing, I know, but I work in a high traffic area, and the fucker can't walk by without making a comment.  And he walks by a lot.

Things have gotten busy for me at work again.  I kind of wish the busy-ness would hold off until after I move, but I can't control that.  No sense worrying about it.  I worked well passed my regular time yesterday. My boss walked by and stopped dead in her tracks:

Her: What are you still doing here?
Me: Working?
Her: You're still working and my other CAs are complaining they have nothing to do?

One of the other two girls is a bit clueless at her job.  Some of this sits on my shoulders; I trained both of them.  I told my boss that I was concerned that the reason they're not busy is because I must have missed a step, not told them enough.  They were filling jars with rocks, but didn't realize the jars will fit pebbles and sand as well.   My boss reassured me that none of this was my fault; I had only worked there for 6 months myself, and then was expected to turnaround and train two new people.  I don't know.  I was hoping to be impressive - someone that everyone in the office would respect.  I'm feeling a little fucked right now.  I'm almost positive that the reason one of the girls isn't getting work is because she's clueless, and her people can't trust her to do things properly.  I'm also having a hard time dealing with them sometimes.  They'll approach me to ask a question that is answered quite explicitly in the handbook.  The handbook I worked very hard on.  Nice to know that it's being read and referred to.

On top of this is my upcoming move.  The movers are booked for next Friday.  I look around my place and I'm just filled with dread and panic.  There is still so much to do around here.  The parking situation at my old place is crap; I can't get anywhere near the door for a regular parking spot.  I have to pull around, turn on the four-way flashers, and do the mad dash to fill it with what I can.  I had been moving stuff over to the other place, but I think that needs to stop.  I need to focus on packing everything left.  Oh me, oh my.

A few months back, I had signed up for, thinking that if I paid for it, maybe the quality (desperation) of people would be a little higher than on the other sites I was on.  I've been in touch with one guy so far.  He likes movies a lot.  On Saturday, my sister-in-law and I had a couple of drinks and were playing around on the site, emailed that one guy, marked some guys as likes or dislikes.  I noticed the past few days that the matches the site is sending me seem better, more appropriate.  So that's good.  Who knows where this will lead? 

*I don't necessarily think this is evidence of any disorder, just reacting to the events and stress around me.

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