|Creepy marzipan. That's me on the left, without the penis.|
When I split with someone, I often tell myself I enjoy being single. While I do enjoy singledom*, there's really no reason for me to stop enjoying myself within a relationship. Basically, the above is all bullshit, and it's bullshit I create for myself. This needs to stop.
I had a rather emotional breakup last month. I didn't include the relationship or the breakup in the blog for various reasons**. I'm realizing that what I've been doing is clearly not working. I've had this strange feeling after the end of the last two serious relationships that I was somehow getting closer to what I wanted, the relationship that I really need***.
I must admit my concern for the way things have been going is completely inspired by a recent...acquaintance. I only met him the other night. He's smart and very funny. I don't know what he'll be to me, if anything, but - at the moment - I hope he doesn't want to be friends. I'll end this here, see footnote 2 for reasoning.
*which is almost completely attributed to living alone (pants optional).
**reasons included, but not limited to: risk of jinxing myself, risk of him discovering the blog, previous partners reading while shaking their heads and feeling superior to me (although, I guess if it makes them happy...)
***reread that sentence, but swap out the last two "I"s for "Gotham". Use a growly voice.
Elbow's Some Riot