Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Summer Holidays

It's occurred to me recently that I don't travel much.  

Sure, I've been all over Ontario for a number of reasons.  I've worked in different cities, seen the ballet in another, visited the big nickle, and once drove 6.5 hours for love*.  My most recent summer holiday was spent only an hour away from my own apartment.  I always think I'm done with Ontario, but if I have the chance at a cottage holiday, I usually take that over the exotic.

Most other travel seems out of my league. It's never been a priority for me.  Here's a short list of the places I've been to:


We visited my aunt in Vancouver.  I was about 13. She took us to Whistler to go snowboarding.  I pulled my groin.  That's it.


Been there a couple of times.  Probably two of my favourite places.  My stepmother is from here.


Ah, Florida!  Spring break paradise, with hot bodies and drinks and beaches everywhere.  I was 10 years old on a family vacation.  I was excited about snorkeling right up until my first gulp of sea water.  My first vomit in the ocean followed immediately thereafter**.    After that, it was pools the rest of the time.  Going out on a boat to snorkel in deep water*** ended with me waiting on the boat and the rest of the family out there. My fear/distaste of the ocean really disappointed me; I had (and still have) an interest in saltwater fish.

This also included Disney World (fun), Busch Gardens (super fun), and Universal Studios (waste of time and money).  I got a Ren and Stimpy shirt out of the trip.

Las Vegas

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Unless you're a 12 year old who won't shut up.  I still don't understand the rationale behind dragging a 12 year old on this trip.  Yes, Vegas!  Where the booze flows like water, and then porn flows like, well, water.  Not even kidding, was being handed porn**** on the streets wherever I went.  I was clearly underage.   I could walk through the casinos, but I wasn't allowed to look at anything.  And everywhere was a casino. 

Also, at the beginning of the trip, my mother's boyfriend (ex now) had given me a fistful of cash to spend on myself while I was there.  Everywhere we went had valet parking, and him and my mom didn't carry any small bills on them, so I always tipped for parking.  This meant that I ended up spending absolutely none of that money on myself.  Awesome. If you're wondering if this man was a total douche, he was.

*"Car, don't fail me now!"
**I wish this was hyperbole.
***not deep if you're a boat.  Deep if you're a 10 year old.  Also, there were barracuda.  Cool in books, frightening in person. 
****Well, pamphlets full of naked people.  Advertising for porn, with nothing pixelated.

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